How
to Parent Children with
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - ADHD/ADD
Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder -
ADHD/ADD may be difficult to parent. They may have trouble
understanding important directions. Children with attention deficit
hyperactivity disorder - ADHD/ADD are usually in a constant state of
activity. This can be a challenge to adults. You may need to
change your home life a bit to help your child. Here are some things
you can do to help:
Organize your schedule at home.
Set up specific times for waking up,
eating, playing, doing homework, doing chores, watching TV or playing
video games and going to bed. Write the schedule on a backboard or a
piece of paper and hang it where your child will always see it. If
your child can't read yet, use drawings or symbols to show the activities
of each day. Explain any changes in routine in advance. Make
sure your child understands the changes.
Set up house rules.
Make the rules of behavior for the family simple, clear and short.
Rules should be explained clearly. It's important to explain what
will happen when the rules are obeyed and when they are broken.
Write down the rules and results of not following them. Hang this
list next to the schedule. The punishment fore breaking rules should
be fair, quick and consistent.
Be positive.
Tell
your child what you want rather than what you don't want. Reward
your child regularly for any good behavior--even little things such as
getting dressed and closing doors quietly. Children with ADHD often
spend most of their day being told what they are doing wrong. They
need to be praised for good behavior.
Make sure your directions are
understood. First, get your child's
attention. Look directly into his or her eyes. Then tell your
child in a clear, calm voice specifically just what you want.
Ask your child to repeat the directions back to you. It's usually
better to keep directions simple and short. For difficult tasks, give only
one or two directions at a time. Then congratulate your child when
he or she completes each step.
Be consistent.
Only
promise what you will deliver. Do what you say you are going to
do. Repeating directions and requests many times doesn't work
well. When your child breaks the rules, wan only once in a quiet
voice. If the warning doe not work, follow through with the
punishment that you promised. (Avoid physical
punishment. This often makes matters worse).
Make sure someone watches your child
all the time.
Because they
are impulsive, children with ADHD need more adult supervision than other
children their age. make sure your child is supervised by adults all
day.
Watch your child around his friends.
It's hard for children with ADHD to learn social skills and social
rules. Be careful to select playmates for your child with similar
language and physical skills. Invite only one or two friends at a
time at first. Watch them closely while they play. Reward good play
behaviors often. Most of all, don't allow hitting, pushing and
yelling in your house or yard.
[Total Focus provides multi-media materials for helping ADHD kids
develop social skills].
Help with school activities.
School mornings may be difficult for children with ADHD. Get ready
the night before--lay out school clothes and get the book bag ready.
Allow enough time for your child to get dressed and eat a good
breakfast. If your child is really slow in the mornings, it's
important to make enough time to dress and eat.
Set up homework routine.
Pick a regular place for doing homework. This place should be away
from distractions such as other people, television and video games.
Break homework time into small parts and have breaks. For example,
give your child a snack after school and then let him play for a few
minutes. then start homework time. Stop frequently for
short "fun breaks" that allow your child to do something
enjoyable. Give your child lots of encouragement, but let your child
do the school work.
Focus on effort, not grades.
Reward your child when he tries to finish school work, not just for good
grades. You can give extra rewards for earning better grades.
Pointers for parents of children with
ADD and/or learning disabilities.
- Take the time to listen to your children as much as you can
(really try to get their "Message").
- Love them by touching them, hugging them, tickling them,
wrestling with them (they need lots of physical contact).
- Look for and encourage their strengths, interests, and
abilities. Help them to use these as compensations for any limitations
or disabilities.
- Reward them with praise, good words, smiles, and pat on the
back as often as you can.
- Accept them for what they are and for their human potential
for growth and development. Be realistic in your expectations and
demands.
- Involve them in establishing rules and regulations,
schedules, and family activities.
- Tell them when they misbehave and explain how you feel about
their behavior; then have them propose other more acceptable ways of
behaving.
- Help them to correct their errors and mistakes by showing or
demonstrating what they should do. Don't nag!
- Give them reasonable chores and a regular family work
responsibility whenever possible.
- Give them an allowance as early as possible and then help
them plan to spend within it.
- Provide toys, games, motor activities and opportunities that
will stimulate them in their development.
- Read enjoyable stories to them and with them. Encourage them
to ask questions, discuss stories, tell the story, and to reread
stories.
- Further their ability to concentrate by reducing distracting
aspects of their environment as much as possible (provide them with a
place to work, study and play).
- Don't get hung up on traditional school grades! It is
important that they progress at their own rates and be rewarded for
doing so.
- Take them to libraries and encourage them to select and
check out books of interest. Have them share their books with you.
Provide stimulating books and reading material around the house.
- Help them to develop self-esteem and to compete with self
rather than with others.
- Insist that they cooperate socially by playing, helping, and
serving others in the family and the community.
- Serve as a model to them by reading and discussing material
of personal interest. Share with them some of the things you are
reading and doing.
- Don't hesitate to consult with teachers or other specialists
whenever you feel it to be necessary in order to better understand
what might be done to help your child learn.
Total Focus
Relaxation Training and
Cognitive "Brain Training" Exercises help kids with ADHD
improve their school performance:
 Parenting
skills training
...gives parents tools and
techniques for managing
their child's behavior. One
such technique is the use of
token or point systems for
immediately rewarding good
behavior or work. Another is
the use of "time-out" or
isolation to a chair or
bedroom when the child
becomes too unruly or out of
control. During time-outs,
the child is removed from
the agitating situation and
sits alone quietly for a
short time to calm down.
Parents may also be taught
to give the child "quality
time" each day, in which
they share a pleasurable or
relaxing activity. During
this time together, the
parent looks for
opportunities to notice and
point out what the child
does well, and praise his or
her strengths and abilities.
This system of rewards and
penalties can be an
effective way to modify a
child's behavior. The
parents (or teacher)
identify a few desirable
behaviors that they want to
encourage in the child—such
as asking for a toy instead
of grabbing it, or
completing a simple task.
The child is told exactly
what is expected in order to
earn the reward. The child
receives the reward when he
performs the desired
behavior and a mild penalty
when he doesn't. A reward
can be small, perhaps a
token that can be exchanged
for special privileges, but
it should be something the
child wants and is eager to
earn. The penalty might be
removal of a token or a
brief time-out. Make an
effort to find your child
being good. The goal,
over time, is to help
children learn to control
their own behavior and to
choose the more desired
behavior. The technique
works well with all
children, although children
with ADHD may need more
frequent rewards.
In addition, parents may
learn to structure
situations in ways that will
allow their child to
succeed. This may include
allowing only one or two
playmates at a time, so that
their child doesn't get
overstimulated. Or if their
child has trouble completing
tasks, they may learn to
help the child divide a
large task into small steps,
then praise the child as
each step is completed.
Regardless of the specific
technique parents may use to
modify their child's
behavior, some general
principles appear to be
useful for most children
with ADHD. These include
providing more frequent and
immediate feedback
(including rewards and
punishment), setting up more
structure in advance of
potential problem
situations, and providing
greater supervision and
encouragement to children
with ADHD in relatively
unrewarding or tedious
situations.
Children with ADHD need
consistent rules that they
can understand and follow.
If rules are followed, give
small rewards. Children with
ADHD often receive, and
expect, criticism. Look for
good behavior and praise it.
Parents may also learn to
use stress management
methods, such as meditation,
relaxation techniques, and
exercise, to increase their
own tolerance for
frustration so that they can
respond more calmly to their
child's behavior.
[Above information
excerpted from Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder a
publication of National Institute for
Mental Health (2006)
NIH
Publication No. 3572] |
Total Focus
provides
Parent Training that covers all of the above and much
more along with
Behavior Modification programs for home and school
developed by a child psychologist.
|
