Parenting & Family Issues

Welcome to our website designed to provide the information and tools parents need to understand their unique child/children and to enable them to help each child develop into the successful human being they were meant to be.

Our philosophy is built on years of child development research which shows that while each child is “pre-wired” with certain traits, temperament and abilities, it’s the interaction with their environment, especially their parents, which ultimately determines how these characteristics are manifested as they grow and develop into competent adults.

Development is the result of “transactions” between the child and his/her environment.  Each transaction results in new learning which results in the development of skills and traits.  The right frequency, quality and intensity of interactions between children and their environment will result in each child reaching his or her full potential.

If you have ever observed the progress of a major building project, you have seen that scaffolding is put up first and is used to provide support while the structure is being built.  As the project reaches each stage of completion, the scaffolding is gradually removed as the building can support itself.  The parent’s role in child development is to provide the scaffolding for their child and gradually remove it as the child attains skills and abilities while they move from one developmental stage to another. By spending time in the Child Development section of our website and subscribing to our Newsletter and Blog, you will be able to provide just the right type and amount of scaffolding for your child.

Research has also shown that nurturing in the form of spending sufficient quality time with your child that is fun and enjoyable for parent and child leads to happy, healthy , successful kids.  Kids also need structure.  Parents are the key to helping children develop self-discipline and positive character traits.  Our Parenting section provides tips on how to enjoy your child while providing the leadership and structure to meet the unique needs of each child.

Parents should be each child’s first and favorite teacher.  Our Leaning section provides guidelines and tools to enable parents to provide the input and activities children need at critical stages of development.  The timing and appropriateness are key to children learning important skills.  Children may have difficulty mastering certain developmental tasks or academic subjects.  We also provide suggestions on how to help kids when they are struggling.  We offer expert help for new readers or struggling readers including dyslexia, math, language plus help for study skills and homework. 

The Health & Safety section provides guidelines on how to keep your child fit and healthy as well as how to handle  issues such as sleep, weight management and common childhood illnesses.  Safety tips for parents of kids and teens are available including updates on product recalls.

Most parents will encounter a few bumps in the road as their child moves from baby to teen to adult.  The Child Psychology section provides guidelines and referrals to trusted resources for such problems as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - ADHD, Anxiety, Autism/Aspergers, Bedwetting, Depression, Oppositional Defiant Disorder - ODD, Shyness and more.  

Concerned about what your kids watching or listening to?  How about video games or internet activity?  Visit our Kids & Media section for guidelines and suggestions for age appropriate materials including books, music, videos, software and video games.

Finally.   Are you a New Parent or new to parenting Teens?  We have help for you as well.

Featured Articles

Kid Control; The Secrets Behind Getting it Back and Making it Work  Picture yourself driving down the road, your favorite music coming from the radio, each highway mile moving you further away from your troubles, and then, from the backseat a howl of pain, “He hit me,” your child’s voice pops your balloon of peace with a cry like an ice pick. “She’s making those noises again,” comes the reply. A thought enters your head, “If they only had a “kid control” button in this car instead of a cruise control, I would have paid double the price.” Indeed, having more control might allow you to drive from point A to point B without a brawl from the booster seats, and control would also let you finish a phone call without interruption, or get your sixth grader to the homework table in less than a half-hour. If control is that important a part of parenting, why can’t we somehow find more of it? In this article, we look at the reasons why control is so challenging and elusive in most parenting situations, and approaches that can lead to a greater degree of control.

First, let’s recognize that parents might be evenly divided when the word control is mentioned. Around half of us immediately feel a sense of suffocation or a feeling that an overcontrolled child becomes intolerant of themselves and others. We think of the first grade teacher that hands out only brown, green, and blue crayons during nature drawing class because those are the only colors she can see in nature. In this view, control seems like a repressive stick.  The other half of us might wonder why other parents can’t see where the lack of child control has brought us as a society.  In this view, the key to adult self-control is through appropriate control applied by parents; its a way of helping children understand that the world is filled with real consequences, and happiness comes from recognizing and avoiding those consequences.  The good news is that both sides are right, and of course, the bad news is that both sides are wrong. Most of the misunderstanding comes from our trouble remembering 1) that we cannot control children, we can only control situations and 2) that relationship factors are as important as rewards and punishments in how children respond to control.  More about that later, let's look at what parenting researchers tell us about the issue.

Playing With Your Child  While children do need time to play alone and with other children without adult intervention, research shows that playtime with parents is also important.



Children crave time with parents. It makes them feel special. Parents are encouraged to find time to spend playing with their kids on a regular basis. This should include one to one with each child and group time with all of the adults and kids in the home. If you are a single parent or have an only child, occasionally invite family or friends over to play.


In pretend play, let the child develop the theme. Get into their world. Let them go with it. Ask questions. Play along. Be silly along with them and have fun. Avoid over-stimulation. Know when it is time to stop.



Also, when appropriate, parents can use stuffed animals or puppets to act out real-life situations that can teach problem solving or social skills. Let the puppet demonstrate the wrong way to handle a situation. Then, along with input from the child, act out a better way. Afterward, let the child do the same.

Helping Children With Manners  Manners are constantly changing from one century or one generation to the next. For example, a handshake originally was meant to show that men were not carrying a sword or dagger in their hands. Men still tip their hats because once knights in armor lifted the visors of their helmets to show their faces. And it wasn't too many years ago that a man almost always got up in a crowded bus and gave his seat to a woman. Nevertheless, certain manners do survive from one decade to the next, and this is because manners make life easier for everybody.

  

There are three important ideas behind the good manners we use today: custom, consideration, and common sense. Custom is the habit of doing certain things like shaking hands and tipping hats mentioned above. Consideration is the most important idea behind all good manners. Almost always, being considerate is being well-mannered. Consideration is simply thinking about the way the other person feels. Being rude to someone is bad manners, not because a book says so, but because it causes hurt feelings. Nearly all good manners have in element of common sense. If you are standing in the rear of a crowded elevator, it's not reasonable-nor good manners-to try pushing your way to the front so you can get out first.



These are the basic ideas we want to teach our children when we are trying to instill good manners-simple kindness, consideration, and common sense. The following suggestions written for and directed to children may give some added authority in the matter of what is common courtesy and what is not.

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